A huge part of me needs to feel successful and independent. I've done pretty well for myself. Lately though, I've come to realize my measure of success doesn't quite measure up to biblical standards. I've been reading making my way throught the book of James; 3:13-18--that part in verse 14 about selfish ambition...whoo. Convicted.
Two Kinds of Wisdom
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
I've been so caught up in the culture of getting it. Humility? I'm lacking on that front too.My grinding has been selfish--it's been about me making sure I make it and not really caring much about anyone else, about me proving to myself that I can make it on my own and circumnavigating anyone or anything that stands in my way. But that's dumb. That kind of thinking could turn me into a monster, and I'm glad I've gained that realization before anything disastrous happened.
So, yeah. Do better, B. My first step, learn to accept help without feeling suspicious or guilty. Sounds so simple, but I know it'll be a challenge. Props to The Batman for being so patient with me :)
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